Night time light

"Do not go gently into that good night" (Dylan Thomas) Say no to death. But if the f**king rush is opposite to death, it would be more that what I need. It´s half past midnight and Im thinking what happened to my creativeness ? Who in F.Z´s band once asked : What happened all the fun in the world ? When you studying something in the age of 40, it can be hard to understand younger people. So you may identify to them and you will deny your experience, because its from the death age ?
I should be creative in different branches of education. Conducting is hard in music but can be hard also in school. Its not creative state when everything should be in control. Is this true also in improvisation. There is different levels of rules and avoidance of them when you making for example free jazz. I havent tried it for a long time, have you ?